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"Mr. Tilson will suffer you gladly now."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

How about going easy on the carbs

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Czarcasm

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"A haand gel...!?"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

Hot cross buns

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

"And yet methinks, Martha, that 'Ibsen with Rhythm' seems somehow to miss the point of Ibsen."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"Because you've been working so little, you can have the rest of your career here off."

"Well, that was the weirdest tribute band I've ever seen."

'And remember team, if you can't join 'em, lick 'em!'

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

Football heads...

A Gated Community.

'As you can see global climate change has encouraged some species to adapt to new environments.'