Snake Ownership Gifts

"It's different when they're yours."

'And you can't remember why you tied a knot in your snake?'

'And you call yourself a hoop snake?'

'I'd like to return this snake. It's suffering from reptile dysfunction.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

'Play it again, Sam.'

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

Oh, isn't that cute: He's playing with his rattle...

"I hear they serve Australian swamp rat in first."

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"Oh isn't that your squeeze slithering this way?"

Snake Charmer's Snake on Strike.

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

"Doc, you'll be glad to know I'm comfortable in my own skin today. I shed my old in the reception room."

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

'Well doctor that will be the Mabato Tree Snake.'

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

"Dude. You seem tense."

"Trust me to get the awkward one...!"

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

The Music Critic.

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'