Snails Gifts

"You, more than anyone, should understand the concept of social distancing."

'Are you responsible for this?'

'We're curious as to why you claimed double the amount of miles you slithered for business purposes over the last two tax years?'

"Poor soul, he's homeless"

Nobody thinks you're funny

"Slimey, what a lovely name."

Slug Hell.

'They're 'escargot pants.''

Snails of the old west.

A bunch of snails are in an office slacking off on their work . A co worker snail says:' Just a heads up. . .Jenkins is heading this way with a salt shaker!'

Gastropod Wedding Showers,

'After years of cheating on his tax, Andrew is finally hit by a Tax-Slug...'

Transylvanian Snails.

Slow Down, You Crazy Ba***rd!

Emo Snail

"What do you mean you want to slow things down?"

"You won't achieve a thing if you keep on procrastinating."

'Am I losing my way?'

"Really, Elwood...you have a pet snail?"

"I told you to be careful with that five hour energy stuff!"

"How else did you think we were getting there?"

Love Is Blind

"No more ice cream cakes."

"I tried hurrying once, but it didn't get me anywhere."

On holiday...

Snail Man

"I don't get it, everybody talks about 'working from home' as if it's something new."

Snail Mail

"It's not a real company, it's a shell company."

"Your place or mine?"

"Forget it Stan - maybe one day... you could rent it."

It's not slime, it's sanitizer.

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

"Run for your lives! The sea level is rising at the rate of about 1 foot per century!"

"I tell you, it's way easier to put up bookshelves."