Snailed It T-Shirts

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

The Zoo.

Diving Cat.

'Stress'

Emergency Firebreaker

"This is just between you and me and the lamppost." "I'll sell it to the tabloids."

'Oh well, if greed wasn't so good, we've still got lust, gluttony, sloth, wrath, envy and pride.'

'I hate when they do this.'

Fisherman catches swimmer.

The Sports Fanatic

Man hospitalized and in a full body cast is reading bedtime stories.

Maps

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

'It's crazy what a peep will eat.'

Football Snail

A snail with motor racing helmet and spoiler

"I need a five letter word that starts with 'Ca'."

Farmer fighting off snail

"I won't be needed a new laptop as stated in my email. I've found one on top of my Mum's wardrobe."

'Charlie, you've been dredging your sand from the golf courses again.'

'They're nice, but do you really expect me to drink my imported Merlot from domestic Merlot glasses?'

'Or you could look at it this way: your server is now permanently carbon-neutral!'

"David, do you think we're drinking too much in the evenings?"

Man riding a fish

'It's the final lap, Jerry! He looks tired! ooze around him! ooze around him!'

Attack of the killer snails!

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already what you just confessed on your blog.'

Dispose of pests humanely

"Can you imagine how being the only one here makes me feel?"

'They carry a big responsibility - if this one wins, I get married.'

Snail in suit with briefcases.