Snail Lover Gifts

'Love your renovations.'

"Hey, this is a marathon, not a sprint."

'They've rejected a number of offers. I guess they're in no hurry to sell.'

"You, more than anyone, should understand the concept of social distancing."

"Your payment? . . . I'm just sending it to you by special courier!"

Escargots to Go. 'I told you this would never work in the fast food market!'

"No, on second thoughts, let's walk"

Warning - Speed Kills

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

"So, you're staying in then?"

"And you get a free dinner for two for just taking a test drive!"

'And now I'd like to discuss my opponent's trail of slime...'

'Stress'

Gavin oozed sex appeal'

'Looks great Darling!'

A bunch of snails are in an office slacking off on their work . A co worker snail says:' Just a heads up. . .Jenkins is heading this way with a salt shaker!'

Snail mail,

Pirate Snails forcing a Snail to walk the Plank into Salt.

'Am I losing my way?'

"One day, Dad, can I go backpacking?"

"I need a slower internet connection."

"Squatters!"

"Quick - you'd better scarper! My husband'll be home in three weeks!!"

On holiday...

"It's not a real company, it's a shell company."

"I can recommend the snails, if you don't mind waiting."

"Drinking home alone. I think he might have a problem."

'The escargots are underdone.'

"I don’t get it – I’ve never even seen ‘mail.’"

Snail skates

"You're lucky you're insanely far away or I'd kick your ass."

"He's too ambitious, going for a black belt."

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

'Yes, we all have gendre-neutral names: We're hermaphrodites you see...'

Missing persons - "So he was due back yesterday after going out for a paper twelve months ago."