Snacks Pillows

'Welcome aboard, Peterson. I understand we're going to be working together!'

'We're out of your regular granola, so try this...the birds seem to like it!'

Pop Quiz.

Sign at a border crossing saying "Welcome to the U.S.A. - We'll put M&M's in anything!"

'This new office space puts me in the middle of everything.'

Will let you go, 85 cents.

Angry Santa Letter

'What happened to the free peanuts?'

A mason making a peanut butter sandwich.

Authentic Hot Dogs.

BREAK TIME!

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

'Hey Bud, we're out of those biscuits with carbon in them...'

'Sorry, I forgot to tell you, the cricket has been cancelled.'

'Pretzel?'

Snacks. Coffee. Early Retirement.

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

"Jackpot!"

"Country Club Dungeon"

'Popcorn-Soda-Hankies'

Bed and Breakfast

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"Have you considered that you might be feeling survivor's guilt?"

"I come from a large family but they've all been eaten."

"Got any more popcorn?"

"Polly wants to blog about crackers."

"I see you dropping something and then returning to me very soon."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"This is it. My last quarter."

Insert bills facing up.

Second aid

"I'm at the pharmacy so often all that's missing is a TV, Lay-Z-Boy, and bag of Cheetos."

"Normally my allowance is $10 a week, but at the airport it's $10 a snack."