Snack Champion T-Shirts

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

You really gorge yourself on sports. THEY score and YOU take a victory lap through the kitchen.!

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Bowled over again!

Hungry child

Bad for you but to die for

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

Love is when you watch television together.

Jewish Geometry

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

"You were right, I didn't want to stop."

"The bagels are better in New York."

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

Stupid Microwave

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

'Him' Watching the Game to Relax

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

Cookie Surveillance

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'