Smoothie Innovator T-Shirts

'You know, sometime we ought to make gruel SMOOTHIES.'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"No thanks, mom. I don't think I'll have any broccoli short cake."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

Banana Smoothie

'The chef is just making your cheesecake now, sir.'

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

"The toaster is broken again, sweetheart."

Oh you smoothie

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

"We're making progress."

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

Motor-blender.

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

Now On Your Grocer's Shelf.

Everything Smoothie

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

Fruit Smoothie

"Please yourself, I'll add salt if you like but I'm only dyeing a pair of socks..."

"Okay, we got one cherry lager, with bitters and a pineapple slice, and one honey malt ale with cinnamon and an orange weist. You want these in steins or parfait glasses?"

Care to BBQ with genius inventor?

"All we've come up with so far is that new meatloaf."

"It's a new way to stretch leftovers. Saw it in Homeopathy Now."

"How about supper in the tub tonight, Hon?"

Wife at breakfast: 'We're out of sugar - how about chocolate milk on your cereal?'