Smooth Skin Enthusiast Pillows

'Your hands are so smooth. Do you use skin softener?'

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

Beach flirting

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

Drunk Barber

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

Desert Dermatologist

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

Man sunbathing on the beach.

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"Stop your whining: as a teenage toad, I had to deal not only with acne, but with warts too..."

Tips on how to reduce those unsightly crow's feet.

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

'My acne is worst on the dark side.'

"Couldn't you have waited till she was smiling before you injected the botox?"

"How come your skin is sooooo smooth?"

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'