Smoking Skeptics Gifts

Lighting it will kill you.

'Are you crazy! The nest is made of dry grass and twigs: Smoking is a massive fire harzard!'

At a drive-thru - 'Do you mind getting rid of that disgusting cigarette sir?!'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

Welcome to Hell - No Smoking

Pollution Look

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"Love it! 'People of smoke' instead of 'Smokers.' "

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

Give up Smoking!

"I suppose you heard about the crazy smoker who wound in a menthol hospital?"

'I told you smokefree bars wouldn't be the end of it!'

'Well you were warned about the dangers of sedentary lifestyle.'

"If exercise is so good for you, how come athletes retire at 35?"

'Hi John, it's your partner, Peter. I've decided to have a non-smokers day off - it should just make up for all the cigarette breaks you've taken in the last month!'

Do you want to add something about not smoking?

Grim reaper with a notepad passes a group of smokers

The little engine that wouldn't.

Research for Spontanious Human Combustion - Thank you for not smoking

'Isn't it bad for you?...no I haven't managed to light one yet!'

'Let's talk about the best way to use nicotine patches.'

'It's a filthy and nasty habit, but at least, you won't end up with yellow teeth...'

Most common side effects...

Smokers.

'I represent a broad-based coalition of anti-pipe interests....'

"I'm afraid we don't allow smoking in here sir. We consider it unhygenic."

Smoking jackets outide menswear shop

'It's a nicotine patch.'

'He huffed, and he puffed, and he blew the house in. Obviously a non-smoker.'

"Then it struck me - nobody originally on the Paleo Diet lived past 35."

"I hate my gym."

'There's something about beig locked up with a 500-pound gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time'