Smoking Debate Debater Pillows

'. . . I go like dude, second hand smoke is so uncool!. . .So now he's filed a complaint with the condo committee that my musings penetrate his walls and he's suffering from second hand thought!'

Two men in a carriage

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

'I'm afraid this is going to lead to regulation of my invention.'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Profits for Big Pharma

Janus 2021

Antibiotics versus probiotics: A battle of wills.

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

Actual Results May Vary

Make him take 16 of these a day until we feel a bit better about what we're doing to him.

Vaping cigarette

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"I have a warrant for the arrest of Sandro Botticelli."

"The new lockdown guidelines are that up to ten people can go to funerals and ten thousand to demonstrations."

'I can't help politicizing everything!'

Basic Theology

"It seems all doctors agree with you, but I'd still like to get a 15th opinion."

"Let's face it - if your god existed, I'd been struck dead long ago for mocking her."

Quack Medicine

Anti-Vaxxers aren't stupid. They just need to be convinced!

"The budget wouldn't stretch to a gastric band."

No Goldfishing. A-hem!

An eye doctor tests a patient's eyesight by having him read an eye chart that starts with "Fight Socialized Healthcare...".