Smoking Debate Debater Gifts

'. . . I go like dude, second hand smoke is so uncool!. . .So now he's filed a complaint with the condo committee that my musings penetrate his walls and he's suffering from second hand thought!'

Two men in a carriage

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

'I'm afraid this is going to lead to regulation of my invention.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

Janus 2021

Profits for Big Pharma

Antibiotics versus probiotics: A battle of wills.

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

Equal Time for All Christians

I hear you're preaching godlessness, you little heathen. I'm preaching intellectual honesty. There is no proof of a Judeo Christian almighty. You might as well believe in Zeus or the spiritual powers of a raisin scone. Where do you think morality comes from? What do you think is the basis for our civil society? The almighty! All hail the raisin scone! HOJ.

Actual Results May Vary

Make him take 16 of these a day until we feel a bit better about what we're doing to him.

Vaping cigarette

"You're right, Obamacare doesn't cover everything."

"It seems all doctors agree with you, but I'd still like to get a 15th opinion."

Basic Theology

"The new lockdown guidelines are that up to ten people can go to funerals and ten thousand to demonstrations."

Blasphemer! Ignoramus. HOJ. Your anti-religious rants will lead to the breakdown of morality. The divine is our source of civilization and humanity. It's what separates us from lowly animals. That and our ability to turn worthless jungle into condos. You're playing dirty now, hairless one.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"I have a warrant for the arrest of Sandro Botticelli."

Liberals Ignore Science Too

'I can't help politicizing everything!'

"Let's face it - if your god existed, I'd been struck dead long ago for mocking her."

'The good news is we can still get abortions.'

An eye doctor tests a patient's eyesight by having him read an eye chart that starts with "Fight Socialized Healthcare...".

Anti-Vaxxers aren't stupid. They just need to be convinced!

"I'd offer you a tissue, but I'm afraid your insurance won't cover it."