Smokers Irony Club T-Shirts

"I'll have 20 'Causes strokes and disability' and 20 'Can lead to impotence.'"

'Should I call the auto club of the coast guard?'

"More ashtray, nurse! For God's sake, more ashtray!"

'Let's play some cards, boys. Oh, and by the way, the wife said if we figure out how to light these cigars we can smoke in the bowl.'

A Passage in the Life of Mr. Watkins Tottle

Identity Parade - Smoker.

"He said if we don't let him in, he'll huff and he'll puff and he'll fill up our whole house with cigar smoke."

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

Fish "Hey Kid, got a light?"

'It's a filthy and nasty habit, but at least, you won't end up with yellow teeth...'

Signs at the entrance of a cemetery pointing to the "Smoking" and "Non-smoking" sections.

Snowman

'Sorry, I can't let you have a last cigarette. The firing squad don't like breathing in second hand smoke.'

'His lungs were fine. He died of hypothermia from all those fag-breaks outside.'

"Really, …. A pipe suits you."

"Oi...use the bloody ashtray!"

"And then one day I thought - 'what the hell?!'. . . I'm endangered anyway."

'We've been disenfranchised!'

Tortoise leaves his Shell to Smoke.

'Get the Munchies yet.'

Colin should have known better than to smoke near the new foam sprinkler system.

Bad fish.

"I tried self-hypnosis to quit smoking. Unfortunately, I have no memory of it."

"But now you're free - free like our bold forebears to seek your fortune in the untamed wilds."

'Apply liberally whenever you get the urge to have a cigarette.'

'It's a match made in Heaven.'

Smoker has smoking x ray.

'Forget about smoking! Breathing is a health hazard!'

'I can't afford em - Will you kill me?'

'Well, it killed me, but I did quit smoking.'

'I know, I know, but what the hell.'

'He's an active, passive smoker.'

"I get the feeling he's a smoker."

Smoking dog.

'Yeah, I used to be called 'White Fang', but after years of smoking, I'm known as 'Yellow Fang' now...'