Smokers Irony Club Pillows

"I'll have 20 'Causes strokes and disability' and 20 'Can lead to impotence.'"

'Should I call the auto club of the coast guard?'

"More ashtray, nurse! For God's sake, more ashtray!"

'Let's play some cards, boys. Oh, and by the way, the wife said if we figure out how to light these cigars we can smoke in the bowl.'

A Passage in the Life of Mr. Watkins Tottle

Identity Parade - Smoker.

"He said if we don't let him in, he'll huff and he'll puff and he'll fill up our whole house with cigar smoke."

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

Fish "Hey Kid, got a light?"

Snowman

Signs at the entrance of a cemetery pointing to the "Smoking" and "Non-smoking" sections.

'It's a filthy and nasty habit, but at least, you won't end up with yellow teeth...'

'Sorry, I can't let you have a last cigarette. The firing squad don't like breathing in second hand smoke.'

'His lungs were fine. He died of hypothermia from all those fag-breaks outside.'

'We've been disenfranchised!'

"Oi...use the bloody ashtray!"

"And then one day I thought - 'what the hell?!'. . . I'm endangered anyway."

"Really, …. A pipe suits you."

Bad fish.

Colin should have known better than to smoke near the new foam sprinkler system.

Tortoise leaves his Shell to Smoke.

'Get the Munchies yet.'

Smoker has smoking x ray.

'It's a match made in Heaven.'

'Apply liberally whenever you get the urge to have a cigarette.'

"But now you're free - free like our bold forebears to seek your fortune in the untamed wilds."

"I tried self-hypnosis to quit smoking. Unfortunately, I have no memory of it."

'Forget about smoking! Breathing is a health hazard!'

'He's an active, passive smoker.'

"I get the feeling he's a smoker."

'I know, I know, but what the hell.'

'Well, it killed me, but I did quit smoking.'

'I can't afford em - Will you kill me?'

'...until the doctor put me on this bread and butter diet nothing worked for me.'

Smoking dog.