Smoke Busters Gifts

"Whereas the alcoholic living in an urban area, who eats high cholesterol foods and smokes three pack a day..."

The Jeopardy of Progress

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Stop smoking,instantly.

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

"Fire, bad. Smoke, good... quite the conundrum."

"I've decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, because it's just collecting dust."

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom or night will stop Ed from overcooking the fish."

Grim reaper with a notepad passes a group of smokers

Cut down your own tree.

A cigar daño

"Are you sure this is the only place we can smoke?"

Gps to advise on 'lifestyle' issues

'Smoking is dangerous, you know.'

'Didn't your doctor tell you that you're not supposed to light the nicotine patches?'

'Do the patches help?'

"This is our company's smoking area..."

"Ignore it - it's probably just a mirage."

City Pollution

"Jumping?! Don't be stupid, this is the only place where we're allowed to smoke!"

'Oh, quit griping and be glad they even have a smoking section.'

Car exhaust as a monster

'I've been sent for booze and fags - I've got a stay-at-home mum.'

'No smoking on school property, Ms. Hanes.'

'It's the only place I'm able to smoke !'

'I told him smoking would stunt his growth.'

Smoking outside the Pearly Gates.

'What do you mean, there's no cigarette break??!'

Man lights cigarette from olympic torch.

Vape

'I don't mind having to come outside to smoke...it's a bit of fresh air.'

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

"Vaping! Vaping! Not taping. Stop vaping!"