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Smart Ass - Wise Ass

Miss America IQ Pageant

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'

Ready for a run!

MENSER the high IQ society

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"OMG! I thought everyone knew that E=MC2."

"It had an interesting emotional arc and some nice plot twists, but the heroine and subsidiary characters were unconvincing within the historical context."

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

With uncertainty over what happens after Brexit we can't trust to our traditional forecast models..."

"I said SLIPPERS!"

"If you're so wise, why won't you tell anyone your SAT scores?"

Don Z. And His User-Friendly Apartment

PATRK - Do you get it? Tea in the Park (Lovely).

"Aren't you afraid you might get too smart?"

"It's been a great year except for me not getting any respect for my personal 'dressing for comfort' choice."

"Wear a white shirt ...... It's the grand jury."

'Yeah, but I'm afraid that those in favor of teaching 'Intelligent Design' never met my husband.'

"Look, it even shows how much time I'm wasting on silly gadgets."

"My smart speaker's not!"

"Gracie, no matter how smart-pants you are...I still love you."

"You're such a know-it-all, I don't even know what you and I have in common."