Smartphone Medic Pillows

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

Keyworker

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

'Stop purring I can't hear your heart beat.'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

Kids Playing Doctor.

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

Modern Warfare: Surgical Strike

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

Current location

Cuba applauds its doctors

'You MAY feel a teeny-tiny pin-prick..'

'Still no improvement? Nurse, attach more gizmos.'

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

The Uses of a Stethoscope

Kevin had a computer virus.

"Did you call for a Medic?"

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

'Let's play doctor. You be the primary care giver and I'll be the doctor you refer patients to.'

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

Team medic spraying deodorant

'Sorry, shortage of staff.'

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'