Smart Kid Supporter Gifts

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

"I thought it was a strike, Troy—but ask your mother."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

Reflected Glory

'I can't come out to play, I have to help my owner work on his bike. Sometimes it sucks being a smart breed.'

"He's a whiz kid."

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

"So, the inevitable sequel."

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the US budget deficit.

Proud Mum.

"He's watching too much educational TV."

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

Parents teacher conference.

"Heading to your government schools to be brainwashed?"

"This boy's getting to be too smart."

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

"How much longer will we have to help Besty with her homework?"

Teacher's Workroom.

Congratulations on your PGCE.

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

"These conferences are a good thing. It keeps parents off the streets."

"Hey, look at that. It looks like the stuff we've been using to text each other for years."

Who'll fill in while your English teacher is on maternity leave? Probably and old-bag substitute. Teach English for a couple of months? I'd love to! Umm, nana? Aren't you too old to go back to teaching? Au contraire! They don't want anyone who could possibly get pregnant. Uh-oh. Age discrimination.

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."