Smart Home Savant Pillows

Don Z. And His User-Friendly Apartment

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

The Not-So Smart Meter

TV-Man

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

All the apps hidden within a phone

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"You are still here."

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

The Plasmas.

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"Wait...... I'm in the bathroom for one minute and you answer my wife's 'Where are you' text with..... 'I'm in a bar with Pete, checking out chicks, foxes and a cute little beaver'??"

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

'Say - according to our home computer, we're out of bread.'

"Hey Google, describe the view."

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"