Smart-card Struggler Pillows

"My smart-card doesn't understand me."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Grandma's caf

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

"Don't pull any wisdom teeth. I need all the help I can get in school."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

Sad businessman with sinking profits

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

"According to my calculations that shouldn't have happened."

Caveman wheel repairers.

We have an all volunteer workforce, and we're still losing money!

"I said, can you hear me now...?!"

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

Desktop Print Hell: '...an eternity of different printers and no windows driver...'

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

'I'll see you kidney and raise you my liver.'

The copier is making a whining noise.

"It's a new travel computer. It fits in your pocket. I suggest bringing your reading glasses."

I hate blind carbon copies when the computers are down.

'I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. How do you expect me to remember another bloody password!?'

'You rate very high in everything, except, of course, people skills.'

"I'm writing a book on everything I don't know about technology. It's a lot longer than I originally thought."

"He's so used to his phone calculating his tip, he forgot how to do it himself. His phone died, so he's been sitting there for over an hour trying to figure it out."

"Your computer crashed? Speaking of crashes..."

'I'll tell you, Ed, this new technology is starting to realy spook me out.'

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

'Don't get smart with me!'

The smartphone app learning curve

"Mom, I think your smart water is dumb, 'cuz it's drooling."

"If it makes you feel better...I usually don't understand what I'm doing either."

“Something’s wrong with my android.”

Grandma's remote explained

'It's one of those days when point and click feels more like drag and drop.'