Smart Alec T-Shirts

"She has a smart phone, a smart TV and a smart mouth."

Nerd tryouts.

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

Ready for a run!

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

"This horse comes with all the hardware necessary to be fully autonomous."

"With the latest in GPS technology embedded into my phone, who needs a map anymore?"

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

'I don't know if artificial intelligence in a toaster is a good thing. It just seems to make toast whenever it feels like it.'

"If you're so wise, why won't you tell anyone your SAT scores?"

'Why did Oliver Twist?'

'We've given you a brain scan and we can't find anything.'

I'm a Smart-Cow!

"Wear a white shirt ...... It's the grand jury."

"But heat rises, so it's cold down here."

"Classical guitar hero"

'Oh, you cut the cord too?'

"I know if Crampton were here he'd want us to divvy up his bonus."

'What an uncanny coincidence! The starter, main course, dessert and wine you've ordered are all the cheapest on the menu!'

"You're getting toast, not waffles. Our appliances have been hacked, and the refrigerator is planning our meals."

Smart TV

"I've always feared this day would come. I'm running out of snarky replies."

'Didn't you hear me calling you?'

Sign # 22 that security concerns have gone too far: Toasters that are password protected.

Cloud cooking

'There's an app that you can program to wash dishes. I call mine Steven!'

Mt. Moriah Church Homecoming: Wipe your feet and tuck in that shirt

"His smart tie knows when he's about to say something stupid, so it covers his mouth."

"I'm old enough to recognize a lecture disguised as grace."

"I feel stupid calling tech support for a toaster."