Small Talk Avoiders T-Shirts

Small talk: 'Wow that's really interesting. I've never actually been to Los Angeles, but I do have some friends there. Do you know Lisa Schwartz?'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

"Regarding earnings guidance, as my mother used to say: 'If you can't say something nice, don't say anything'. I'll be shutting up now."

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

"Jim is a good old-fashioned modernist."

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

'I once met the tweeter for a famous novelist, but never anyone who tweeted for an organic, patented plum.'

Friendly Fire: 'Good to see you, Geoff. . . wife and kids ok? How's the garden looking this summer? You're sacked!'

Elevators offer choice of conversation or conversation-free.

"I know absolutely nothing about that subject, but I will give you my opinion."

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

Harold Was Done Asking Customers About Their Day

Small Talk Lounge

"We're perennials."

"That was there to give idlers reason to not stop and chat."

Small Talk Outlet

A shy parish cleric seeking to talk business with a lady

What we talk about when we talk about the weather

"Well, if you don't want to talk politics would you like to talk baseball?"

"Did you like Ike and all that?"

"Look, I'm really having trouble with my computer. I need it to work and I need it now...and your fancy schmancy jargon isn't helping much."

"Oh, the pain I can take—it's the awkward silence between conversations that's torture."

"It's just if the TV isn't on I never know where to look."

A guy trying his best on a date...

"I forgot to charge him."

"You just watch him Ethel. He'll sit there and say nothing, just to annoy me."

Running on Empty

"Oh, no! People are coming to sit near us! Put up the banner!"

'Why do we always talk about this stuff?'

"Quit asking if I'm O.K. If I'm ever O.K., I'll let you know."