Slumber Advocate T-Shirts

"I hate Daylight Saving Time."

Self help acupuncture

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

'You know your problem, Harlan? You need to get in touch with your 'inner beach bum'.'

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"You were snoring."

'How can I get mad at him for sleeping on the job? It was I who told him that taking naps was healthy.'

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

"What's with your hair?"

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

Creative napping

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"