Sluggish Thinker Pillows

'Turned out nice again.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

'At least I don't have his life.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

Facebookie - Odds on boss catching you wasting time

Did you know that hawks can travel 250 miles without flapping? Big deal. So can I.

Mathematics.

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

Career Counseling. I don't need to live life in the fast lane. I just want to get out of the bicycle lane.

Oh, The Putzing You'll Do

'I'm on a great career path that never leaves my apartment.'

'I'm not seeking any answers . . .I don't know anything . . . I'm just lazy!'

"Wow, it's only eleven – that still leaves time for me to ruin tomorrow by staying up doing nothing on the Internet."

'I use the zen-Freudian method. Neither of us says anything for the hour.'

"These caseloads are impossible I've got TWICE the number I should I can't be in two places at once!"

'Don't do today what you can leave for tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next week or until someone else does it for you.'

'Mind you, I make up for it on my husband when I get home.'

'The word from upstairs is that you're in serious danger of excommunication if you don't stop yelling 'Hey, Abbot!''

Think / Don't think signs.

'I feel so... lethargic. Well, I would be if I could be bothered.'

The Ultimate Pessimist: "The glass is half empty and what's in it is toxic."

"I act unreliable so people won't ask me to do anything."

"I'm sitting here going over all my troubles in my mind..."

Avoiding Housework 'How to skive'

"Has anyone turned in a pair of reading glasses?"

"I'm not just passively waiting for opportunity to knock... I'm waiting for it to send me a friend request."

"...I have a dream..."

Better than Chekhov

"No man is an island."