Slowness Mugs

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

Snail Racing

"WOW...this new bike has great acceleration!"

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

'God's speed.'

'The kids want a new motto: instead of 'slow but sure' they've come up with 'fast and funky'.'

Snail Coach

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'Nobody wants to play tag with me at school: They say I'm too fast...'

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

Slow food restaurant

Life in the fastest lane.

"You were going 24,998 in a 24,955!"

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

The What's-The-Hurry? Institute

'I should have listened to my Mum, she always said, 'Never underestimate how fast a zebra can run'.'

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

'He's so fast he has to stop to clean the insects off his glasses.'

Turtle crossing road: 'Phew! A couple time I saw my life crawl before my eyes.'

'I need to get a bigger place.'

'Look after your feet, always wear a prophylactic and never travel faster than 300mph on water!' SAGE WORDS FROM SIR DONALD CAMPBELL!

What the sign said: 60 max. What you saw: Go man!

'Officer, I thought road signs were just mere suggestions.'

But officer, I am supposed to be the fastest animal on earth!

A horse and cart metamorphosing into a snail.

Rex is suddenly regretting having offered to help the old lady cross the road...

"Just follow me around for a day with a camera. It would make a great reality TV show. ... I'm serious."

'But isn't it nice to know you can go 2500 miles per hour in a pinch?'

Tai Chi video - can you slow it down, it's still too fast!

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"Giddyup!. . . Damn. I think I just wasted 500 bucks."

"Done already? Wow!" "Yup, a new record. Just under two years."

'Life in the fast lane was too fast.'