Slow Starter Gifts

'I'm useless until my first pot of coffee.'

"You were right. Building an online business empire is even more fun than playing games."

Snail Racing

A young boy sits behind a lemonade stand with a sign that reads "Lemonade 25¢ - Jay Antosh, Chief Executive Officer".

Origins of a family tradition.

"In your own time, Brian, in your own time."

The What's-The-Hurry? Institute

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

'I hereby sentence you to 40 years labor in an office with fluorescent lighting, just enough salary to keep you alive...'

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

'I need to get a bigger place.'

Honey I'm Home

'My mother made me apply.'

"I graduated magna cum student loan, so I'll need a big starting salary."

False starts.

Rex is suddenly regretting having offered to help the old lady cross the road...

"This isn't the most progressive place so try to sip your coffee in a manly way."

"Not hired?! But I got A's in all my classes!"

"Would you like a cup of drip coffee while you wait for your pour over?"

'We have an opening for a part-time intern, which could lead to a full-time unpaid internship.'

It's The Highway For People Who Hate To Drive

"He's in lockdown."

'You sure you've done this before?'

"Time to wake up, Jim. It's Monday morning."

"That's where we shred our email."

"I tried hurrying once, but it didn't get me anywhere."

"I'm glad you're willing to start at the entry level. There's your materials. You can start immediately."

"I don't mind saving that I was nervous. This was my first sale...thanks, mom!"

Actions speak louder than words. Please move slowly.

Princess Snail Ride

Intern

I'd join you, but this dratted self-timer only waits for ten seconds!

"I'm sorry, we're looking for somebody with experience."

"Heaven help the poor customer today, Finley quit smoking this morning!"

2022