Slow Sipper Gifts

"Would you like a cup of drip coffee while you wait for your pour over?"

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

"Whine and cheezed party."

Running Latte

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"You took your time!" "Better latte than never"

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

Lady on left - 'He's a man after my own heart' Lady on right - 'A cardiologist?'

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

"You need a hobby."

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"And this is where we add the natural goodness."

'I feel totally connected now that I can order liquor and attend meetings on the internet.'

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"Listen...Tonight I'll decide when I've had enough"

Homeworking has really been the death of the office party, what do you think?

"Okay, we got one cherry lager, with bitters and a pineapple slice, and one honey malt ale with cinnamon and an orange weist. You want these in steins or parfait glasses?"

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

Singles Night: 'No, no, it's not you, the problem's with me - it's just that I'm cursed with good taste.'

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."

"Would you like a cup of drip coffee while you wait for your pour over?"

'Better steer clear of the red meat - I'll have pink salmon with a few blue mussels, green peas, black eyed beans and a bottle of rose.'

"Anyone home?"

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

Acme Instant Muscle Ade Machine

"I haven't gotten as much done, but I've had a lot more energy ever since I replaced Gloria with a smoothie."