Slow-paced Navigator Gifts

Snail Warning

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Characters jumping out of a book.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'I'm not being punished! I'm reading because I happen to enjoy reading!'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Well, I finished my summer reading list – now what?

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."

'Is this your first book launch?'

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

This new writer we've got is really working out, dear. I feel reinvigorated! Like someone's breathed new life into me! Why, I feel like anything can happen now! Like we can do things that are out of the ordinary! things we almost never do. I said Not tonight, dear.

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"