Slow-paced Gamer Lover Pillows

"We suck at this."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

'I can't believe you only lasted 3 days, 9 hours and 56 minutes.'

Tortoise Goes For A Swim

"Hang on -- I'm going to make the jump to 90 m.p.h."

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

Quiet night? Liven up that game of solitaire with a Mexican wave.

Why are you so hostile toward books? Um, where to start: The waste of paper, the lack of multimedia, the one-way nature of the medium. One-way? Authors stuff ideas down your throat. You can't interact with their ideas. You can't crowdsource the direction, or refine the plot or do anything active. You can't shoot anyone. Shoot? I might play a shooting app called Angry Books if the books you were destroying were cute.

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

"Giddyup!. . . Damn. I think I just wasted 500 bucks."

"Your wife wants to know why you're not home, yet."

It's The Highway For People Who Hate To Drive

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

'Virtual golf, save pounds'.

"That's for anyone who can't stand the sight of blood."

"Fishing and doing nothing are not incompatible."

Tortoise Mailman.

Slowsave.

"I've always worked from home."

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

'Better slow it down a bit.'

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."

"Are you watching these soccer games?"

'You didn't GIVE me your hand in marriage! I WON IT!'

'I love my job, but the commute is killing me.'

'On your mark...'

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."

I may not be the smartest tortoise, but I've been around the block a few times. Well, once.