Slow-moving Admirer T-Shirts

"What a shell!"

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Book Me!

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

The men of your dreams

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

Snail Display Today

"Expensive coffee is a cheap vacation."

Speed Checked By Radar.

'This is the jewel in my collection. My invisible man figurine!'

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

"The Snout? What For? We've got everything we want right here."

"Anyone home?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

Bird on stilts.

"I've always worked from home."

Tortoise Mailman.

"Hmmm... that's more like it!"

"Any idea where I left my reading glasses?"

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

'Next semester, we're having art time after lunch.'

'Sorry I'm late -- I had to climb over a speed bump.'

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."

Snail hitching a lift to the other side of the garden from a tortoise

I wasn't screening my calls! I just can't make it to the phone before the machine picks up!

'I love my job, but the commute is killing me.'

I may not be the smartest tortoise, but I've been around the block a few times. Well, once.

"I shouldn't have gone to freshen up at the interval: The second act was almost over by the time I reached my seat again..."

"Dylan needs a classroom where I don't have to talk to any of the other mothers."