Slow Motion Admirer Gifts

'Sorry I'm late -- I had to climb over a speed bump.'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

Employee of the Month Parking

Book Me!

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

The Famed Florsheim Illusion.

Snail Display Today

An airplane drops a Valentine for a woman.

Humans rarely use cash anymore. It's all electronic transfers in and out. Computer algorithms target them with ads, telling them what to buy. More and more, computer programs select marriage partners for them. And now we're seeing electronics override human drivers in cars! Only alarmists worry about electronic devices taking over the world and controlling our lives. Sometimes they are just so funny!

A sky writer writes, 'Thank you.'

Tai Chi video - can you slow it down, it's still too fast!

Perpetual Motion.

"Anyone home?"

Kangaroo in a plane.

'Tortoise fanciers dinner 6:30pm for 10pm'

'Wait...that's not a gray chested black wing hawk, that's a drone.'

'... and that one is yours!'

'Pinch runner, Bob! Hold him on the bag! They put this guy on for only one reason!'

"And one with no bun."

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

'I thought he'd never leave!'

"Hmmm... that's more like it!"

Plane Rescue

'Well, it might be hard to believe now, but in my youth, I was the fastest animal on land...'

"No, this video of your father running is not in slow motion."

'Whenever I feel the urge to travel, I go out to the airport for a couple hours, and that cures it.'

"I am running!"

"What do you expect a shrink to look like?"

'Next semester, we're having art time after lunch.'

"I shouldn't have gone to freshen up at the interval: The second act was almost over by the time I reached my seat again..."

Snail hitching a lift to the other side of the garden from a tortoise

"The snail-mail of our species is deadlier than the e-mail."

"What a shell!"