Slow Living Pillows

"Over all, I think my life is stagnating in the right direction."

'Haven't you ever wondered why I'll live 50 years longer than you?'

"Just follow me around for a day with a camera. It would make a great reality TV show. ... I'm serious."

"Done already? Wow!" "Yup, a new record. Just under two years."

Life didn't pass me by --- I just refused to keep up!

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'Who knew we would be trend setters?'

Missing persons - "So he was due back yesterday after going out for a paper twelve months ago."

Slow food restaurant

Live Slow, Die Old!

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

Sloth 10K.

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

New Hampshire Minute

The Oaks: Breakfast And Back To Bed.

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

"He tried living in the fast lane, but he didn't like it, so now he just sleeps all day."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

'It's a pretty lame disappearing act Darling: I think we'd better hire a real Magician for Timmy's birthday party...'

"Things moving too fast. We need to get back to our roots. And grubs."

Amongst the rush.

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses..."