Slob Life Observer Gifts

Whoever said 'change was inevitable' never saw Fred's underwear.

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'In general, do the right thing.'

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

Life and Death

"Look at Ernie. He's so tipsy, he's walking face forward."

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

You trip on it, you buy it.

Down on Bourbon Street...

"I've been at loose ends lately."

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

'Hey! Down in front!'

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

Will Kill For Food

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

Sponge Blog

"I'm running a loose ship."

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

Street: The Magazine for Homeless People

"I remember when this was all forest..."

"Would you be willing to participate in a brief survey following this transaction concerning customer satisfaction?"

Highway of Life. No, Ernie, we're on cruise control. It just seems like we're going faster the further we go.

Where the Wild things Aren't.

'Have you noticed it, too?'

Pedestrian parking only.

"Hi! It's me...I've gone off the rails"

"And then one day I realized I'm just gonna have to settle for liquid courage."

'Must you eat without your shirt on? The crumbs falling into your navel are beginning to compost.'

A vicar looks at his in tray and out tray containing a newborn baby and a coffin

"You're not old. You just have more leeway to scold strangers, and their kids, and feel good about it."