Slice Surveyor T-Shirts

Tension filled the tent.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

When Engineers Crack.

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

"I see you have experience marking territory."

Surveys and economic interests

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

'I wonder if you would like to subscribe to a theory.'

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

Surveying.

"What factors influenced your decision to use this particular exit?"