Sleepless In Satire Pillows

'How can you sleep at night?'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Hypnotoon

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

'The nurses tell me that you're having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd try a sermon just to help.'

"Today is my second birthday and I wanted to let you know that I intend to take full advantage of my terrible twos!"

Husband splashing tea over newspaper.

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

'It's your turn, dear.'

'It's these sleeper terrorists, doctor. They're keeping me awake at night.'

'Peel is sleeping badly.' - 'He seems very bright.' - 'Yes.' - 'Bright babies often sleep badly.' - 'Waaaaah!' - 'I want a thick baby.' - 'Zzzzzzz'

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

"Oh Oh . . . Looks like our five o'clock wake up call is here!"

"How's the insomnia?"

That night, Rose found out that her husband was not only a sleepwalker, but also a sleepblogger.

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

'I've got to do something about my insomnia. I didn't sleep a wink at work today.'

Sleep!

Things my cat says at 3 am

"He wanted to be buried how he lived his life."

"Watch out if I doze off, I sleep probe."

"I tried reading a book once ??" fell asleep and missed the ending."

'I'm writing an insomniacs guide to beating the IRS.'

"Just go already!" "One could scarcely desire more delightful conditions for a nocturnal ramble..."

"I had a bad dream that you were getting rest."

I can't sleep, tell me about your day.

"It's too late to worry anymore tonight, I'll get up early tomorrow."

Ugh – Whenever I write down ideas in the middle of the night, they make absolutely no sense in the morning.

Creative Insomnia

"I can't remember how to fall asleep. What do you have for insomnesia?"

'I told you not to drink coffee before hibernating!'

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking.'

"A child is like coffee. It's easy to make, but then won't let you sleep."

Night of the 2 Cappuccinos