Sleepless In Satire Pillows

'How can you sleep at night?'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Hypnotoon

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

'The nurses tell me that you're having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd try a sermon just to help.'

Husband splashing tea over newspaper.

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

'It's your turn, dear.'

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

'Peel is sleeping badly.' - 'He seems very bright.' - 'Yes.' - 'Bright babies often sleep badly.' - 'Waaaaah!' - 'I want a thick baby.' - 'Zzzzzzz'

'It's these sleeper terrorists, doctor. They're keeping me awake at night.'

That night, Rose found out that her husband was not only a sleepwalker, but also a sleepblogger.

"Oh Oh . . . Looks like our five o'clock wake up call is here!"

"How's the insomnia?"

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up EVERY HOUR during the night."

Sleep!

'I've got to do something about my insomnia. I didn't sleep a wink at work today.'

"He wanted to be buried how he lived his life."

Things my cat says at 3 am

"Watch out if I doze off, I sleep probe."

'I'm writing an insomniacs guide to beating the IRS.'

"Just go already!" "One could scarcely desire more delightful conditions for a nocturnal ramble..."

"I tried reading a book once ??" fell asleep and missed the ending."

"I had a bad dream that you were getting rest."

I can't sleep, tell me about your day.

"It's too late to worry anymore tonight, I'll get up early tomorrow."

Creative Insomnia

"I can't remember how to fall asleep. What do you have for insomnesia?"

'I told you not to drink coffee before hibernating!'

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking.'

"A child is like coffee. It's easy to make, but then won't let you sleep."

Night of the 2 Cappuccinos