Sleep Whisperers Pillows

"Good night!"

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Alarmistclock

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

"Please....wait...the...meeting...host...will....let you...in....soon."

"You're on mute."

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

'Have a couple of dreams, and call me in the morning.'

"...went to sleep. And then Mr. Donkey became very quiet and drowsy and he went to sleep. And then Miss Mouse became very quiet and drowsy and she went to sleep. And then Mrs. Bear became very quiet and drowsy and she went to sleep. And then..."

Don't have nightmares!

"Is there anybody there..?" Knock once for 'yes' and twice for 'no'..."

First Annual Psychic Convention

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

Communicate with the departed via the cloud.

'You were Tolkien in your sleep again...'

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

'I'm sorry, but I think you should find a new analyst... your dreams are just too boring for me.'

'Sue, the poltergeist has made us another cake.'

'Wake up honey, you're roaring again.'

FBI Agents Discuss Grilling Techniques

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold..." "He was allergic to everything."

Woman is on computer searching a website for lost socks.

Ok, you were right – Dogs can see ghosts.

"And the tattered ghost of Ayn Rand gobbled up everything on Earth and fluttered home to roost in eternal darkness."

'Fritz...Fritz..You're roaring again.'

"Come and get me, coppers!"

My signature move is barbecuing on the grill outside my house and setting off the smoke alarm inside.

A pink cloud hovers above a sleeping man

"... and then I wake up really thirsty and pour low-fat milk on my husband."

"Please make it snow tonight. Karen Garvin wants me to be her valentine."

"But I'm not even tir..."

'Honey, you're talking in your sleep again!'