Nighttime Whisperer Pillows

"...went to sleep. And then Mr. Donkey became very quiet and drowsy and he went to sleep. And then Miss Mouse became very quiet and drowsy and she went to sleep. And then Mrs. Bear became very quiet and drowsy and she went to sleep. And then..."

Late night teddy reading

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

Science Dept...Entomology: 'Too bad humans don't spend their teen years in pupa like insects.'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'

A boy and his spin patrol.

'Ha ha ha, it's him again! He always makes me laugh.'

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

The World's best Camouflage Store.

Monster Realtor

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

"Papi, I heard something!"

Monster fixing boy's car bed.

"Oh come now, darling. When I was your age, I felt different, too."

'The princess won the lottery and lived even more happily ever after.'

"Did you get it at Bed, Birch and Beyond?"

Waiting for the 5 o'clock hooter.

'I don't mean to discourage you, but go home and play on your own range.'

Don't have nightmares!

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

The End is Night

"The only time he lets 'em out is when he wants the lawn mooing."

'I know how worked up everyone is, but let's keep the bird calls to a minimum.'