Sleep Routine Explorer T-Shirts

A cow's bedside table.

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

"We can't wake her, she's sleepwalking."

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

Please take them off

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

Red in tooth and claw.

"I thought it was just the cap that was child-resistant."

'You shouldn't give that to a kid before bedtime. You know that will just wind him up.'

The Force of Example.

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

Doug always circled around four or five times before lying down to sleep.

Morning Routine

For those difficult bedtimes Sheryl relied on the bedtime reel.

Napquest

All-Night Diner

A day in the life of a cow.

"The sound of your mom falling asleep wakes you up too?"

'The problem being a kid is that the hours are lousy!'

"You can't sleep? Have you tried meditating, then reading for an hour, then going to the couch...."

"It looks like another productive night of sleep and exercise. My smart watch logged seven hours of sleep and over 1,500 steps from sleep walking."

"Tell me a story Mommy!"

Daily Promise...

"Nice try with the sound effects, dad, but you're still no mom!"

"You've got to be kidding. It's freaking noon!!"

He was an early riser. She knew it, but never really got used to it.

Commuters in train compartment reading newspapers.

'Wait, I know. G'night Danny, don't let the bed bugs bite, Danny. We regret having to raise you to level orange, Danny...'

"What shall we stare at tonight?"

'My husband I haven't been sleeping so we changed from a memory mattress to an amnesia one...we're still not sleeping properly, but now we've forgotten all about it by the time we wake up.'