Sleep Perfectionist Pillows

'That's what I'm talkin' about.'

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Contented man and cat sleeping

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

Do not disturb...

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

Oh, come on this insomnia is driving me nuts! Just shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, wouldja!

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

'It's not Spring yet! Go back to sleep!'

"What's with your hair?"

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"You were snoring."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'