Skincare Experimenter Gifts

Flo didn't know what was odder: the beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that she actually tried this beauty tip.

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

Bad fake tan day.

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

PROBLEM AREAS

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

Desert Dermatologist

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'Is my make-up O.K.?'

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

"Couldn't you have waited till she was smiling before you injected the botox?"

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"How come your skin is sooooo smooth?"

"Stop your whining: as a teenage toad, I had to deal not only with acne, but with warts too..."

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

'Mildred....is that you?'

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."