Makeup Experimenter Gifts

Badly applied nail varnish.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Bad fake tan day.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Halloween may be a little different this year.

"Too much concealer?"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"I don't like your application."

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Woman applying makeup

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

Alien Beauty Magazine

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

Complete Makeover

"More concealer?"

'There's no charge for the carrier bag!'

The girl who has everything...