Makeup Experimenter Gifts

Badly applied nail varnish.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Bad fake tan day.

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Too much concealer?"

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"I don't like your application."

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Alien Beauty Magazine

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Woman applying makeup

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'There's no charge for the carrier bag!'

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

Television guests' essentials in November.

"More concealer?"

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

The girl who has everything...