Skin Story Collector Gifts

Right to bare arms

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

The Poky Little Pupa.

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

Thank you to those who never came home and to those who never left their side.

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

Marley had a little lamb

Rapunzcow

"Once, I tried to change the laces, and the Landmarks Commission came down on me like a ton of bricks."

Fairy Library - Hop o' my Thumb Title Page

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"One blackbird pizza?"

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

Alice in Wonderland - Alice Meets the Cheshire Cat.

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"I told you not to hold your breath when comping up!"

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

"When they assured me the solar panels would look like crackers, I said "What the hell!"'

Who's Dead

"Stop your whining: as a teenage toad, I had to deal not only with acne, but with warts too..."

'I can't believe this: We spend all our time hiding from humans, but they keep on publishing stories about us anyway...'

Wonderland Auto Dealers. We have some very satisfied customers. Humpty Dumpty loves the airbags in his new car! Hansel and Gretel are happy with their GPS. And the three bears think their security system will prevent break-ins. Goldilocks probably wishes the three bears bought something with keyless entry. The biggest complaint is from Cinderella. Did her car into a pumkin? No, this time it's a lemon!

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

"Must go now Zelda. The builders have just arrived"

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'