Skin-deep Philosopher Pillows

Tattoos! $50 and Tattoos Removed! $10,000.

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

Pigeon Little

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

George Orwell

Goldfish bowl on raft...

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Reverse psychology

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Et in Arcadia Ego

Free speech isn't cheap!

"Nihilistic customer service"

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Don't believe in labels."

I wonder what they're moaning about right now?

"Think of it as one less thing to worry about."

Thought bubble mirrors the cloud in the sky.

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'Well, your photosynthetic stuff was a lot more peaceful.'

'All I know is that when life hands you a lemon, you're supposed to make lemonade...is there such a thing as curveballade?'

'Get an afterlife!'