Skin Consultant Gifts

"No really, I'm a toad too! I found a great dermatologist who treated my warts..."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

Desert Dermatologist

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"Botox."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"Didn't you get the memo? The boss said he was bringing in some experts to help with the company's rebranding."

"More concealer?"

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

Baracracy

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"Stop your whining: as a teenage toad, I had to deal not only with acne, but with warts too..."

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"'Killer Whale' is terrible branding. From now on, people will call you 'Happy Silly Fun Fish.'"

"One day, I'll have teeth like pearls...skin like silk...and a mind like a steel trap!"

"My client has been convicted by the media, but I am confident that his conviction will be overturned on appeal by the three major networks and the 'Times.'"

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!