Skin Care Savant Gifts

"Ask me again once your skin clears up." Never propose in broad daylight.

TV-Man

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

The Tragedy of Prosperity

Complete Makeover

Trawling for Fish.

The Plasmas.

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

"God, I love this show!"

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

Mind control

"Cool game!"

'No one is making fun of you. You're just being overly sensitive.'

Ernie's Music. Ernie, you're opening a music store? Yep, I'm going to serve a niche market. I won't be selling CD's or any other digital music. I also won't be selling the old cassette or eight-track tapes. I'm only selling records. I'm catering to audiophiles who appreciate the unique sound quality they deliver. That's great! Are you going to adverties? Yeah, my tagline is "All sales vinyl"

"She died doing what she loved."

Fortune teller sits beneath a sign 'Wrinkles Read Here'

Pathology.

"The Five Major Warning Signs of Baldness."

Life's choices (Tampons and Chocolate).

Lion with hair straighteners.

Bob begins every day with Tie Chi

'No wrinkles or botox for me: I naturally change my skin every so often...'

'I'm telling you, with the right moisturizer and lip balm you could avoid all of that chaffing.'

"Are we at the undercoat stage yet, or is this still the primer?"

"The groomer used too much product."

Canadian Jesus

'Do you just add more layers as you get older, Mom?'

'Alright! Alright! So I made a mistake!'