Skeptical Service Seeker Pillows

"Nihilistic customer service"

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"We fell for this last time remember..."

Church: Open Sundays

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

"Baseball is boring."

'It's a wonderful find, and yet there's something suspicious about it.'

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

'Gentlemen, gentlemen, yes the neutrino beats the speed of light; but let's wait for the dope test.'

"I guess I can’t prove I exist either."

Street merchants 'Hair wraps' 'Henna Tattoos' 'Colonic irrigation'

"Would you like to speak to our sorrow sharer?"

"24 hour service. Yes, that's how long it takes us to prepare your pub lunch."

'You know, folks, if they still haven't made you paranoid enough, here's something ELSE for you to think about.... What if Benghazi was just a DISTRACTION?'

Career Opportunities of the Future

Proving Jesus lived is harder than finding footprints in the water he walked on.

"I'd be very happy to give if I could be confident the money was spent well!"

'Is the 'living happily ever after' part just spin?'

"Did you remember to tip the doorman?"

How psychics keep out the riffraff...

There is a new Reaper in town

"We've become so diversified these days...let me check to see if we have anything at all to do with customer service."

'We're happy to explain our fee structure to you as long as you understand that it will incur a fee.'

'This 'multiplication' stuff - did you check it out on Snopes?'

Judgment Day, May 21, 2012

Really? Can you tell my future by reading my palm? What are your qualifications? I come from a long line of fortune hunters

Lots of people helping out with the self-service machine.

'Now, this placebo is recommened by four out of five doctors.'

'If caller ID shows our number, it's just a tricky telemarketer...but in case I'm wrong you'd better answer to see what you want.'

"Serving You Is Our # 1 Job!"

Not in Service

"Wait a minute, are you trying to tell me that the Great Reset isn't a conspiracy theory?"

'If it's any consolation to you your job application's being recycled!'