Skeptic Extraordinaire Gifts

'Be careful, it looks like a scam, to me.'

Next Train 45 Minutes - 'Now the government is back in charge I'll take it with a pinch of salt.'

'It's good quality oil I tell you! Why doesn't anybody believe me?'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"Any Creationists here tonight?"

It’s not the clutch, Mr. Warburton. Your car’s been taken over by a bunch of child eating demons using a Jewish space laser. We have to shoot it.

"I have a healthy skepticism of what's reported to me as 'fact'."

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"In the old days it took nearly ten years for the Deep State to put a fake man on the fake moon. Now it took them less than a year to come up with a fake vaccine for a fake virus."

Fear/Knowledge

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

Another Bigfoot sighting...

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

Channelling on the Cheap

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

The new Physics

"And he had it peer-reviewed by his fellow pseudoscientists."

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

"About the vaccine, I read online that it was so Bill Gates could inject us with CHIPS!"

'I might give you the benefit of the doubt. But I doubt it.'

Experts through the ages.

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

"After the election everything will be perfect and I will be able to fly."

"Call me crazy, but this guy is really starting to worry me..."

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."