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'I don't know Arthur, I've heard the service is terrible here.'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

Paging for a Doctor

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"And nobody noticed the crease in the blueprint?"

Pollyanna, the Hamster

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'Hey, you could get arrested for doing stuff like... Oh, you ARE getting arrested.'

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

Builders build a property that has a crease in it like the design plan.

Joe Hundredaire

'Please Pardon the Inconvenience as we Remodel the ER.'

Builder follows an architect's blueprints exactly, including the smudges.

"Previously on..."

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

NASA realized too late that there was intelligent life on this newly discovered planet.

"Some Rain Forest this is..."

John Cleese

'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.

'The builder is behind schedule but my lease was up at my previous location.'

Scaffolding team watching TV.

'Are you mentally undressing me again professor?'

Zero to sixty in two seconds.

Construction workers building a library are all saying, 'shhh, shhh' to each other.

'If you sing 'If I Had a Hammer' one more time, I'm going to hit you with one.'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 6

"Good evening. Sorry for the slight delay."

"It's going to rain — I can feel it in my bones."

The Spine Center

'No, I don't think x-rays are needed.'

'Oh, here comes trouble - spanner enters workplace full of cogs!'

'I'm not overweight you know? I'm just big boned.'

'I guess there was a typo on the job order. It was supposed to read 'mow the lawn, not plow the lawn.''