Skegness Skeptic Pillows

'The games console has saved us a fortune in holidays. We told him we were seeing the pyramids but we were actually in Skegness. He didn't notice.'

Fear/Knowledge

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"It's such a lovely day!"

Another Bigfoot sighting...

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Channelling on the Cheap

"Well did he?"

"God works in mysterious ways."

Follow Science or Your Weird Sky God

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

The suggestion box.

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

The new Physics

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"And he had it peer-reviewed by his fellow pseudoscientists."

"About the vaccine, I read online that it was so Bill Gates could inject us with CHIPS!"

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

'I might give you the benefit of the doubt. But I doubt it.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

Govt. UK led by Seance

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"Call me crazy, but this guy is really starting to worry me..."

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'