Skate Wizard T-Shirts

"I went rollerskating last weekend

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

Newton's Cradle Solar System

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

Where did you learn alchemy? Elementary school.

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

Can I go to the Computer Tennis Camp?

'I found this sales plan from 1977 ...'

"And for my next trick, an evidence-based strategy!"

'Pause your games, kids! There's a high fly ball deep to center field!'

"What I should have done during vacation besides watching video games. . ."

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

"When did this game get started?"

"Looks like something exciting is happening in R&D."

'Now that's what I CALL a spectacle case.'

Physics: Unified Theory. Luftkopf's work on string theory is all tangled up.

Double bass skating

"I was thinking, maybe karate isn't for me. Tio Ruben was a golden glove boxer. Maybe I can take up boxing! You don't know anything about boxing, do you, Tia Carmen?"

'We realise that your speciality is heavy metal...'

'No way can I guard this guy! He's playing like he's possessed!'

'This model even has a sports car on board.'

'Am I shivering or giggling?'

"Well, for starters, you’re holding the shovel all wrong."

"No, I didn't plant a magic bean. I genetically manipulated the seed."

"And you say it does really well in the snow?"

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

"He's got steady hands and was the top recruit from Funzone."

Herd Nerds.

"You're onto something very big. Don't let the company get its hands on it."